I’m back again. I’m again sorry for leaving you for so long. I think it’s time I tell you everything about me.
The reason I have not been posting is because I have a disease called Lupus, and I have been focusing on getting better but I’m still working on it.
There are new and important changes in our line up. Mr. B. has found someone else, and like we all knew would happen, from the very first post. (Like death or taxes, we knew it was unavoidable, but now that the moment is here… It’s NOT fun.) I have been discarded. We could blame Mr. B. and say he lied. Which he did, but … that’s on him. But that sounds like such a cliche doesn’t it? (The poor victim of a philandering man… blah, blah, blah…)
Or I could be me, “Amber” and take responsibility for accepting the submissive role that put me here. Yesterday, I thought I was the disappointment, and the hollowed one. Today I realized, yes, I’m hollow. But to this affair, I gave my all, I jumped, both feet in. I opened up to new experiences, I became someone I would have never dreamed to be. I chained myself in one way but freed me in many others. So I’m not the disappointment. He is, because he gave up.
So today, I free myself from this spell, he, himself has broken the chain I allowed to be put on me, and a new dawn approaches. I will not seek a new affair right away. But I will take my broken heart with it’s new darkness and give it to Mr B. to throw away, or pretend to fix, or whatever.
Today, ladies and gentleman I go, head high, into the dark, because it’s the only way I will bring out the light within me.
I will see you soon,
with the sexual adventures of a new Amber. (perhaps a girl?)