Staying Grounded

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I am going to start this blog post with a jump into The Way Back Machine. Early in my life my mother would sooth my discomforts with what I now call Mothering. If I had a tummy ache, she would place a hot water bottle on my stomach and sit next to me and caress my forehead while giving me soft and slow affirmations. Those slow gentle strokes would put my body and mind at ease. Later as a young adult, I had a girlfriend that loved to touch and caress. And she did touch and caress. But it was not soothing and calming like my mother’s. It did not take me long to realize the difference.
My mother would never loose contact with my skin. Either a long slow stroke in one direction and then a slightly faster trace back to the start and a long slow stroke or a stroke in one direction then a hand on a spot while she lifted off with the first hand and returned to the top to start again. Knowing that I enjoyed this technique, I adapted it myself and would practice the down and back whenever I caressed someone.
Years later in a discussion with a massage therapist friend, I learned that the constant contact was taught in massage school. The logic is that when if you break contact, the person you were touching loses where your hand is. And then when you reintroduce your touch it is a shock to them. So a good massage therapist will always have a light touch on your body.
You are asking yourself, “Self where is Mr. B going with this?” Here is where Mr. B is going. During a make out session, you are kissing on the neck below the left ear. You want to give the other side some attention. Rather than lift off and move to the other side, try this. Kiss, kiss, blow a soft whisper along the neck and jaw as you slowly shift to the other side. Stop along the way and plant a butterfly kiss on the chin, lips or throat then whisper your way to your target.
If the whisper is not your thing, keep the tip of your nose in contact with the jaw as you drift over. Or mix it up. Whisper a little, nuzzle some, whisper some more… you get the idea.
Earlier I mentioned the use of the other hand my mother would employ. So same scenario, you are kissing the neck below the left ear. You want to switch to the neck on the right. Before you end your kiss on the left, work a hand into the hair of your lover. Get your fingers all tangled up in that hair. Now gently tug the hair as you release that kiss. Hold the tug, stop by and kiss the lips then land on the neck on the right side. Now release the hair and begin kissing that neck. You never lost contact. Your lover never had to wonder what you were going to do next. They stayed lost in the mood you have created for them.
I promised Amber that I would make this post about the whisper kiss. And while I have mentioned the whisper kiss, that is not really the jest of this post. If you have never practiced the whisper kiss, it is simply a light blow from a small opening in your mouth, form you lips like you are going to whistle, but blow much more softly. If you drink tea, you already have the technique down.
How do you employ it? How about, you are actively engaged in eating her pussy. Her toes are curling, her stomach is clenching, an orgasm is on the rise. Connect the tip of your tongue with her clit and whisper a kiss. Repeat this for the next 3-4 times she is about to climax before you let her release. Waves of orgasms are your reward. Or, you are sucking his cock. He is throbbing and pulsing. Let the cock out, and whisper from the base of the head to the balls and back to the head. Wrap your lips around the head and suck to completion.
I have used the whisper kiss on her nipples, her clit, down her spine, up her thigh, across her forehead and on her neck, never have I not been pleased with the results.
Give it a try.

Lesson to be Learned

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Hello all,
I apologize for my long absences from posting. As Amber stated in a recent post, we are now much closer to each other. That is a result of my relocation to the city where I had been working on a contract basis. Major changes in Mister B’s life, I am now divorced and making a new house feel like a home. I shall not burden you with all of the details. One important thing to know is that I was feeling very much out of place. None of my old routines survived. I had a burning need to have a night that felt like my old life.
One thing I derive great pleasure from is creating a good dining experience. Nothing fancy, good wholesome food presented with a good balance of flavor and color. It gives me a sense of accomplishment to manage the different prep times and cook times to have everything meet on the plate at its height of flavor and appeal. Yes I am a control freak!
So I convinced Amber that she should forego her usual Friday routine to come and experience a meal at “Chez Brian”. A local market had wild caught salmon on sale. I had recently discovered a stash of 2009 Merlot from South Africa that was absolutely wonderful. My staple starch with salmon is most always steamed rice. All that pink and white needs a vibrant green to balance the plate. Keeping it simple, I picked up some snow peas that I would blanch and then sauté in olive oil. While at the market, I grabbed a small bouquet of flowers to dress the table.
One of my idiosyncrasies is that I do not like dining under harsh light. Maybe my military dining hall days, or a deep seated romantic streak, but I like to have soft indirect lighting during my evening meal. My new home offers only an overhead light without a dimmer so I pulled out the candles. A cluster of votive candles on the kitchen counter and two taper candles on the table gave the prefect lighting for the meal.
Amber and I had a lovely meal, great conversation and connected on a level we never had before. She shared with me that she found the meal and the presentation to be very special.
And it meant a great deal to her. Folks, I had been preparing and presenting this sort of meal for the past 8 years to my now ex-wife. I never got this appreciation for the effort. Yes when we were dating she would complement my effort. But in the last 8 years, it became expected.
True Amber and I are in the dating phase still. And I really enjoy creating in the kitchen, so it is not that much effort for me. But let’s consider what things get taken for granted as our relationships grow. Men, do you kiss your lover after a great blowjob and tell her/him how much you enjoyed it? If your partner enjoys anal sex as much as you, is that anal sex still not a premium since not all lovers enjoy it? Let them know you relish the things they do that you enjoy. Ladies, after 20 minutes of toe curling orgasms, I know you are off in a different cosmos, but sometime in the next hour or so, stroke your mates face and share how lucky you are.
In closing, even if your partner loves doing what you love receiving, let them know you love it and that you appreciate it.
If you want to read more about the meal prep just ask.
Have any of you ever sautéed chopped Brussels sprouts in olive oil with garlic and fresh ground black pepper? OMG not the slimy “Martian Heads” your mom used to force you to eat!