When I was young one of my friends was an amateur magician. And for a 14 year old he was pretty good too. He shared with me some of the less complicated “sleight of hand “ tricks. I know I am not going to shock any of you intelligent blog followers by pointing out that these tricks all rely on one simple element, “the redirect”. The magician attracts your eye (and attention) to a hand or prop while he or she performs magic with the other hand. And we are all amazed and in awe of the magic being performed for us. Would we be as amused if the magician grabbed our head with one hand and forced us to look the other direction while they did their magic? Okay maybe some of you would, but I think not many. I believe that partners can turn love making into magic by using the redirect.
Say you are in bed and the foreplay is heating up. Your partner slides a hand up your thigh toward your crotch. A particularly rough callous on the side of their finger grates your flesh as they advance to your private parts. Do you grab their hand and say, “WTF go scrape that thing off!” Or do you place your hand on theirs to stop advancement and whisper, “I would love if you kissed my thighs right now.”? First option is a real mood killer. The second is alluring and enticing. Oh yes, I want to do that.
Not always easy. A hang nail or a callous can be shocking. The before mentioned bad breath can be repulsive. And you will not always have the presence to redirect. But the more you do this, the more fulfilling your relationships will become. After all, you’re interested in getting pleasure as much as giving it, yes? So the less often you kill the mood, the more often you make the mood.
Now if I could master pulling a bouquet of flowers out of my ass…..