It Is What It Is

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It has been a rough three weeks for our affair, as if the heavens were set upon us not seeing each other.  Amber and I were to have a weekend together for the first time. But an unfortunate accident put an end to that plan. Then illness in the family ceased all but text messages for almost a week. Next a business trip and finally, more family illness kept us apart most of the past three weeks. If it had not been for text messages, we would have been islands.

After all of that, we got a “clearing in the weather” and had a chance to spend today together.
We enjoyed some time around lunch, with a little of a make out session followed by a snuggle session. Then this evening: dinner, kissing, petting, incredible sex and some more kissing.

I mention this for one reason. When you are involved in an affair, you have to be flexible. Always know that you are second to the life your partner has. They have family to protect and careers to pay attention to. While you may be important to the happiness of that other person, do not forget that you are the gravy in the meal. The meat and potatoes are the family and career.  Be patient and understanding. Eventually, your turn will come. And it will be worth the wait.

Please do not put a burden upon your affair partner. If you do so, you will be lowering yourself to tier of the person that they are cheating on. You are to be the person that understands above all else. You are to be the shoulder to cry on. You are to be the ear for a tearful cry after spouse has left for work. Your role is to be friend first, lover second. And never ever drive a wedge into the dynamics of your lover’s relationship. Listen and offer your advice if asked for. But do not undermine your lover’s marriage.

Stay loose, and stay available. It will be worth the efforts in the end, I promise.

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